Helping Your Child To Build Resilience
Resilience. We’re all getting our fair share of building more of the stuff during this time in history! But what does it actually mean to be resilient?
Dr Ginsburg, human development expert, proposes that there are 7 integral and interrelated components that make up being resilient –competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping and control (how’s the alliteration). Let’s break it down, and find ways that you can help your teen build these skills into their lives.
there are 7 integral components that make up being resilient
#The 7 C's of Resilience
This is the ability to know how to handle stressful situations effectively and face challenges. As a parent, you can model stress-reduction skills to your teen when challenges arise (such as stopping to take 5 deep breathes, regulating emotions etc) and, when opportunities present themselves, encourage your teen to practice these skills to enhance their competence.
This is the belief in one’s own abilities and is rooted in competence. Children gain confidence by being able to demonstrate their competence in real situations. Parents can enhance self-confidence by identifying their child’s individual strengths - and when children are noticed for their strengths, they can become motivated to overcome their challenges!
Young people with close ties to friends, family, and community groups are likely to have a stronger sense of security and sense of belonging. They are more likely to have strong values and are less likely to seek out alternative destructive behaviours. At home, make sure you foster a sense of belonging and encourage ways your children can strengthen their ties by being a good friend, a caring family member, and an important community member.
Children with “character” enjoy a strong sense of self-worth and confidence. They are in touch with their values and are comfortable sticking to them. They can demonstrate a caring attitude towards others, have a strong sense of right and wrong and are prepared to contribute to the world. You can help strengthen their character through enhancing self-esteem, and by teaching skills of empathy and caring for others. Teenagers need to be empowered to recognise that they have the ability to make “wise” choices towards their values rather than away from their values.
If young people can experience personally contributing to the world, they can learn the powerful lesson that the world is a better place because they are in it. Hearing the thank you’s and appreciation when your child contributes, will increase their willingness to take actions and make choices that improve the world, thereby enhancing their own competence, character, and sense of connection. Get creative with ideas on projects that your family may be able to do together in order for them to experience the power of contributing!
Young people who have a wide repertoire of healthy coping skills are able to face stress more effectively and are better prepared to overcome life’s challenges. There are two main types of coping skills: problem-based coping and emotion-based coping. You can help your teen by identifying which coping type they lean toward and encouraging them to foster those skills.
When teenagers realise that they have control over their emotions, decisions, and actions, they are more likely to know how to make choices that help them bounce back from life’s challenges. Encourage your teen to be mindful and take control of the way they think and act, and that they can determine results based on these choices.